Challenge Report
Did you accept the challenge to give each other a 6-Second Kiss every day for seven days?
If so, how did it go?
Any observations?
A new habit?
Our Experience
“It was easy,” was Libby’s only comment.
I don’t want to brag but she started the challenge within thirty-seconds of proofing last week’s post. It took me by surprise.
Last week, using Dr. John Gottman as the authority I challenged you to kiss your spouse for at least six seconds every day for seven days. Neuroscience indicates that a kiss of at least that duration causes oxytocin to be released in your brain, which increases bonding and mutual well-being.
Interestingly, on two occasions when I told young, practicing psychologists about the challenge, they replied,
“Oh yeah, the Gottman 6-Second Kiss.”
I don’t want to overthink it, but it seemed worth pausing to consider what might have been learned.
Here are some things I learned.
Accepting the challenge introduced more playfulness and lightheartedness to our relationship. Communication that is limited to busy life- management only produces stress. (One of our sons and his wife have a total of 15 practices and 4 games to get their kids to each week. They probably will not kiss again until New Year’s.)
Six seconds feels shorter every day. Like other deliberate habits such as Silence and Solitude, the more you do it, the more natural it is.
It was tenderizing. The affection spilled over into our whole relationship. It set the tone. It is hard to be irritable, exacting or demanding with someone who regularly kisses you.
It is a good barometer of how we are doing with each other. It is not failure if we are not close enough for a kiss. It gives us some awareness that some repair might be needed.
If you did not accept The Challenge, start today.
If you did, what did you notice?
