Which are you likely to be toward your spouse: an encourager or critic?

Bonus Question for the Brave

“Honey, do you experience me more as an encourager or a critic?”

What other couples are you close to, who inspire you, encourage you and model a strong marriage?

What would your marriage look like if someone recorded your private conversations for a week?

It’s easy to notice what our spouse could do differently. But this week’s Good Conversations invites us to look at ourselves.

Are we anxious, frustrated, or self focused? Or are we calm, generous, and thankful?

What might your everyday conversations reveal about your heart?

Do you ever have a disagreement that suddenly blows UP?
Or your spouse’s reaction seems out of proportion to the issue being discussed?
What do you do when that happens?

What stresses, ambitions, or disappointments may be preventing you from seeing the joys of your life?

What if you are God’s best (not only), but best plan to bless your spouse?

Have you done something different recently as a couple that disrupted your life, expanded your horizon, or challenged your comfort?

How does your spouse know that that you still notice them and are still attracted to them?

Do you ‘flirt’ with each other?

How?

What keeps you up at night?

In this week's reflection, we explore the worries we all carry—family, health, relationships, and the things beyond our control—and the peace that faith can bring in the midst of them.

"And in peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety." — Psalm 4:8

Read this week's newsletter and consider: What is worrying you, and where do you find peace? 💛

What is bringing you joy these days?

(Generally)

What keeps you up at night?

Or, if you wake in the middle of the night, what comes to mind?

What month do you think is the most popular month for weddings?

How do you use your anniversary to pause and appreciate your marriage?

When you have disagreements, which one of you is more likely to be the fire and which one of you is more likely to be the ice?

How good are you at saying, “I’m sorry,” when an apology is needed?

How do your spouse and you make sure that you are having fun together?

Ask each other this tonight:

Do you feel truly seen, heard, and understood by me?

Create space for honesty, not defensiveness. No fixing, no interrupting. Just listen to learn.

Sometimes the answer won’t feel easy to hear… but that’s where real understanding begins.

When do you feel most understood?

What small acts of kindness mean a lot when your spouse does them?

How do you respond when your spouse lets you know that you have done something wrong?

Dr. Sue Johnson says the real enemy in conflict is not your spouse. It is the pattern you fall into together. Find the Bad Guy. The Protest Polka. Freeze and Flee. When we focus on being right instead of breaking the pattern, connection suffers. What pattern do you fall into and how can you change it? 💬💙

Who’s to blame when you are in a major fight with your spouse?