Emotionally Safe

What makes you feel emotionally safe with your spouse?

What keeps you from feeling emotionally safe?

Our Experience

"I feel safe sharing my thoughts and feelings about stuff when I know you aren't going to try to fix me," starts Libby.  I mean, I have to talk about some situations (or people to be honest) and say rather dreadful things sometimes.  Just to get it out of my system and get perspective and you don't try to correct me or instruct me or be horrified, you just let me express myself and BE my safe person!"

I  know that you don't judge me. You love me.

I have to admit that it takes conscious effort to give Libby the space to share her feelings, especially when they MIGHT be negative.

It is a learned behavior! 

One expert says that one of the top 5 needs for a man in marriage is DOMESTIC TRANQUILITY. That is just a clever way to say that we do not want to be bothered!

I have to remember that the goal in communication is to do my best to see the world from her perspective. If I am not careful my tendency to be exacting will make me judgey. And she NEVER responds well to that!!

(Can you tell that my computer is broken and that Libby is typing this???)   

I am not so afraid that Libby is going to try to fix me, but she might be inclined to manage me.

(I DO have very good management skills!)

But, she is safe enough that I can kindly suggest that she back off!

I always feel safe when Libby is fully present to what I might share. 

What helps you feel safe?