Your Universe

When you finish using something in your house like a kitchen item, tool, cleaner or something else, which unconscious question do you ask:

Where can I put this?

Or

Where does this go?

Your answer will indicate what universe you are most comfortable in. There is a strong likelihood that it is not the same as your spouse’s.

Our Experience

“But, Libby, if there is a place where it goes, it means you only have to make one decision,” I said.

“Well, aren’t you perfect!”

“And that sounds so judgmental,” she added.

“How is it judgmental if it is just a clear principle?” I added.

“You just want me to be like you,” she said.

“No, you want me to be like your mother!”

“Wow, you’re really on a roll,” I said.

“Playing the mother card.”

At this point, what do you think?

Do you think we were yelling or laughing?

What would you be doing?

We were laughing. Her tone, my tone were light-hearted.

Neither one of us were taking ourselves too seriously.

Differences in “stuff management,” fall into Gottman’s category of Perpetual Conflicts, (69% of all conflicts) that will never be totally resolved but can be successfully managed.

Our positive expectations and feelings towards each other override these differences that otherwise would be constant irritations.

We are in different universes when it comes to stuff. I am not consistent about having a place for everything, but I love not having to hunt for things. Earlier in my life I think that I defaulted to Flat Surface Placement. The nearest counter, table, shelf, step was my go-to.

We have friends who are in the same universe. You should see their house! No clutter. Yet, they are still relaxed and fun.

Where do you put things when you are done?

How easily can you live with any differences?