How well are you able to recognize when you are about to lose it in an argument and need to step back and reign yourself in?
Our Experience
Do you know what a GFI outlet is?
It is that outlet near the kitchen sink or in the bathroom that has a red and black bar in the middle of it.
The Ground Fault Interrupter has one job: detect a rise in electrical power and immediately shut off the power in that circuit.
It saves us from getting electrocuted or igniting a fire in the wiring.
Many of us need a GFI outlet in our emotional connection with our spouse.
I know I do.
It is necessary for Emotional Regulation, which is the ability to recognize when we are losing control of our emotions and need to bring them back into constructive awareness.
Without a GFI outlet we will have to hope that those closest to us will have one.
One of the earliest episodes of The Simpsons I saw had them trying to change their conflict patterns by being hooked up to one another with feedback triggers. They could squeeze a trigger that would give a shock to any family member who had offended them. Of course, instantly they were all screaming in pain as they shocked each other. The whole city lost power.
When did your emotions last need regulation? Try to remember exactly what happened. Walk through it again and identify when the GFI would be tripped. What was going on with you? What could you have done differently?
Usually, we cannot choose our first emotion in a disagreement. However, we can choose our response and what emotion can be next.
When a GFI gets tripped we may be able to reset it by simply pressing the bars. We may have to go to the electrical box and flip the circuit breaker. Or it may be serious enough that we have to call an electrician to come and identify the problem and repair it.
Personally, I am learning that my GFI is needed when I feel most justified in my point of view. If it is not tripped I will just turn up the power. But even if I get a concession or a retreat, it will be a loss.
How is your GFI working?
