A Vital Sign

How affectionate are you?

Our Experience

I don’t remember how it happened, but I will never forget when it happened. The first time Libby and I held hands.

We were meeting some friends at the UNC Bell Tower to go to a football game and as we walked up the sidewalk, suddenly we were holding hands. I can’t tell you a thing about the football game but that was a great day!

The expression of affection is one of the most vital signs of a marriage.

Some cultures are more naturally inclined to express affection openly. A few years back I was walking with an Italian friend late in the evening on a street in the Upper West Side of Manhattan having an animated conversation about life and ministry. We walked at least a block with his hand inside my arm keeping us close as he shared advice.

I felt like I was in The Godfather.

When I feel positive about Libby and our relationship, I am more affectionate. And I am also more open to her affection.

If one wanted to take the pulse of our relationship, all one would have to do was ask us how often we touched that day.

Saying that Touch is not one of your Five Love Languages will not cut it. That’s like saying, “Acts of Service is not my Love Language so don’t expect any help around here.”

The marriage expert, John Gottman says that a daily 6 second kiss is a must.

Try it.

Are you an affectionate person?

Does your spouse experience you as an affectionate person?