How Responsive Are You?

A couple’s closeness depends on how responsive they are to each other, as well as the positive quality of their responses.

How accessible are you to your spouse?
How responsive are you?
Do your responses invite them to draw closer?

Our Experience

Personally, I have had to learn and am still learning that responsiveness is an acquired skill, requiring vision, intention, practice and habit. It is nearly impossible for me to resist being the main character in my own movie, putting everyone else in a supporting role.

And Libby has been great in a supporting role, that is until she started getting healthier emotionally and spiritually.

Remember what John the Baptist said about Jesus, “He must increase and I must decrease.”

It took me too long to begin applying that to my marriage.
“So, Libby, how have I been doing?”
(See how brave I am?)
“Much better,” she begins.
“I don’t have to give disclaimers any more before I share something, like, ‘I don’t want you to react, but . . . ..’ or ‘I
don’t need you to fix me, just listen.’”
“You pay more attention to me, and are just more present to me,” she adds.
“And after fifty-two years, I should hope so!” she rounds off, sticking the landing.
If your spouse has to anticipate and plan for your
response, guess what?
You need to work on your Response Skills.

If they cannot automatically assume an open, interested, caring response, the same is true.

If you are the spouse who has to carefully time, position and phrase something that you need or share something that is going on with you, you need to practice saying, “I need you to . . . . “

Affirmations

• I want to be the safest friend you have.

• I want you to know that you can always count on me.

• I want you to know that you are the person I value most in my life.

Can you make those affirmations?