Busted

How do you respond when your spouse lets you know that you have done something wrong?

Our Experience

I know how to make my wife mad at me.

I mean really mad.

If I say or do something that upsets one of our kids, she lets me know it.

Truthfully, three of our four kids have been long-married and well-insulated from anything I could say or do. But our daughter lives close by and we interact daily, which is fantastic.

But sometimes we might get sideways if I ask the wrong question, give unsolicited advice or clumsily miss cues about what needs to be done.

A few days ago my offense was in the clumsily-missing-cues category.

Thankfully, our daughter has always been good at throwing the flag quickly when I have committed a foul.

But this time when she let me know that I had upset her, I reacted instead of listening.

I was defensive and sort of doubled-down on the issue. Later, Libby invited me to talk. Or, let’s say, she ordered me to listen. As I sat on the back porch steps she clearly, and with some passion let me know what I had done wrong.

And she was not happy about it.

Fortunately, I had already begun to come around to our daughter’s point of view. So, I stayed quiet and put up no defense or counter argument.

A soft answer turns away wrath, is what Proverbs 15:1 says. And a soft answer was all I had, starting with an apology and the assurance that I got the message and understood it.

Libby was surprised, maybe even shocked that I did not put up any resistance.

“Thank you for listening,” she said.

“And for letting me say everything I needed to say without interrupting.” Mark

PS. We were outdoors.

Libby swore.

I did suggest she lower her voice.

It was received well.