That Means a Lot

What small acts of kindness mean a lot when your spouse does them?

Our Experience

“What would happen if you decided to love your wife with all your heart?”

This person who is going through what might be a marriage-ending crisis was stunned by my question.

I told him that I didn’t want an answer immediately. I was planting the question for him to consider.

But he could not resist.

“That assumes that I would want to,” he said.

Answering this week’s prompt might not have saved this couple from their crisis – but it might have.

When we are committed to give and receive daily acts of kindness we will be “heart-fit” in our relationship. Without these kindnesses we will naturally develop heart disease.

Stress, tension, unmanaged conflict, neglect and other things will eventually make kindness impossible.

“Would you like me make your tea?”, is the question Libby asks me when she gets up before me, which is usually the case.

“Yes, I would,” I reply.

Now she does it without asking.

When I open the microwave, there it is, a tea bag in a mug of hot water. (Apologies to those of you who actually “make your tea” in the morning.)

I appreciate it and tell her thank you. It has become a morning kindness.

As Libby and I had this conversation about what means a lot, I discovered something.

She finds it kind when I don’t complain about something.

Yikes!

“You never mind when I ask you to adjust the vacuum cleaner so I can use it for the car,” she said.

We’ve had our vacuum cleaner for over twenty years, and Libby has never bothered to figure out how to take it apart for hand use. (She just told me that she never plans to figure it out.)

As I paused in my mowing the other day to empty the grass catcher, Libby called me from the driveway.

“Would you come change the vacuum cleaner,” she requested.

“Sure,” I replied, even though I was hurrying to finish the yard so I could go in and watch some of the men’s basketball tournament.

I needed to go into the garage to get an extension cord, which I remembered was in the house. I came back and transformed the vacuum into a long hose version.

To Libby, my being interrupted and doing something for her without complaint?

KINDNESS!

(I have to admit, I did find myself asking how I had failed not to teach Libby something that is easy after you’ve done it once.)

What kindness, big or small mean a lot to you?