Fresh Eyes
When was the last time you noticed your spouse in a fresh way of appreciation? What can you do to refresh your affection for your spouse?
Our Experience
Marriage is often like a webpage that needs to be refreshed. The affection is not active enough to keep it current.
Last week I had lunch with a friend at a Chick-Fil-A. Libby gave me a ride there and since she had our six-year-old grandson, Grey, with her, decided to stay and have their own lunch.
It was crowded but they found a corner booth and I could see them off to my left from our table.
My friend went back to order something else, so I was sitting there alone. I looked over at Libby and was surprised that it instantly seemed like I was looking at someone I did not know.
“Look at that woman with that kid,” I thought.
“She’s cute.”
She did not notice me looking at her, so I took a few minutes to study her.
‘She’s really enjoying that kid,” I observed.
“Wow, she looks like a pleasant person. What could they be talking about?”
I was seeing her with fresh eyes.
Time, routine, and familiarity tend to blind us to the qualities that first brought us together.
I felt very privileged to be married to the woman I saw at Chick-Fil-A that day.
How might you get a fresh look at the one with whom you live? Here are some possible ways.
Spend time with other couples. Watch how they enjoy the company of your spouse. Watch how your spouse comes alive around those who affirm him or her.
Find a picture of the two of you when you looked great. (I keep one handy but do not look at it enough.)
Deliberately sneak a look at your spouse when they are doing something else. I like to glance at Libby while we are watching TV together, noticing how relaxed she is. Sometimes she will add humorous commentary to whatever we are watching. I bet you didn’t know she could do accents.
Take the time to write a note of appreciation and affection.
If the state of your marriage has no space for fresh eyes, have the courage to do your best to figure out why.
Marriage is not meant to be endured.
How can you take a fresh look at the person you love?
